Circumstances surrounding your thoughts to potentially give your baby up for adoption vary depending on financial, physical, emotional and other situations. The thought is often a cause of stress, and second thoughts may linger in your head even when, earlier, you felt determined to keep your baby.
Not sure if you want to give your baby up for adoption? Take a look at these 15 reasons why many women do decide on adoption and try to find those that may speak to you and your situation.
1. Cannot afford to raise a baby
This is a common reason why birth mothers decide to put their baby up for adoption. Raising a child is not cheap. On average, the cost of raising a child until age 17 is $233,610. Low-income single mothers spend $172,000 to raise a child until age 17, which is still a significant amount. Many women realize they are not prepared for the financial struggles that parenting will bring, and they place their baby with a pre-screened adoptive family to provide a better life for their baby.
2. Too young to be a mother
When a woman unexpectedly gets pregnant at a young age, she may realize she is too young to be a mother. She may want to complete her education and start a career. Or she might simply feel too young or not prepared at that point in her life. Young pregnant women often decide to allow a much better-prepared family the chance to adopt and raise their baby.
3. The environment at home is not suitable for a baby
There are several reasons why a woman believes she cannot provide an appropriate home environment for their baby. This could be difficult relationships with relatives, financial struggles, or simply life with a complicated family. Pregnant women often realize that they will not be able to change these circumstances in the near future so she will be giving their baby up for adoption.
4. Don’t feel a strong connection with the baby
Perhaps you are not feeling a connection with the baby you are carrying inside you and there is no reason to feel bad about it. The fact that you say, “I want to give up my baby for adoption,” means that you care enough for your baby to give him or her a chance at a happy life with a family that will love your baby unconditionally.
5. The baby has special needs she will not be able to meet
Medical advances allow us to know if an unborn baby will have special needs. Raising a baby under normal circumstances is already hard enough. Knowing that certain birth parents will not be able to meet these special needs motivates pregnant women to put their baby up for adoption.
6. Don’t want their baby to live in a one-parent family
When birth mothers realize that they either do not have the ability to provide a stable home or simply give up on finding a partner, they may decide that they do not want their baby to have only one parent. Often, the mother does not have a healthy relationship with the father or does not know who the father is.
7. Support system of family and friends is unstable
If a pregnant woman does not have the stable support of family and friends during her pregnancy, she will not likely have it when the baby is born and throughout his or her childhood. She may then choose to give up the unborn baby for adoption to a family with a healthy support system.
8. Pregnancy is a result of a sexual assault
A woman who gets pregnant from sexual assault faces the dilemma of raising a baby that might remind them of their assaulter, terminate the pregnancy, or give the baby up for adoption. Many of these women cannot handle the emotional trauma of raising a baby that reminds them of the assault; yet they are brave enough to give the baby a chance to live with a loving adoptive family.
9. Abortion or being a parent are simply not options
Women who have an unplanned pregnancy have the right to decide what to do with their unborn baby. Whenever the options of terminating the pregnancy or being a parent are out of the question, many pregnant women will simply decide that giving up the baby for adoption is the best choice for her and the baby.
10. Don’t want to jeopardize their future
An unplanned pregnancy comes at a time where there are different plans for one’s future. Many women want to complete their education, advance academically and financially, and even get married. Raising a child may delay or even stop these plans from being fulfilled.
11. Want their child to have better options through adoption
This is another major reason why mothers will give up their baby for adoption. They want a better future for their child, even if this is with a different family. For many of these babies, adoption is their only option to a much brighter future.
12. Know how great adoption can actually be
Some women already have a second-hand experience with adoption and can testify about it being a great option. Either the birth mother has adopted herself or has seen a close relative or friend adopt and she can clearly see why adoption is a better choice.
13. Want their baby to have the chances they did not have
Many women did not exactly have the best childhood, victims of circumstances that placed them at a disadvantage. Because of this, they feel they missed out on better life opportunities, which is something they don’t want their baby to miss out on.
14. Love their baby very much and want the best future for them
Giving up your baby for adoption does not mean you do not love him or her. In fact, it is a sign that you do care so much you are willing to think about and do what’s best for your baby in order to set up your baby with the best future possible with an adoptive family that can provide a better life.
15. Want to help a couple create a family
There are many couples out there desperate to adopt a baby. Being a woman with an unexpected pregnancy and without the resources to raise your baby, you have a great opportunity to help one of these couples like no other.
Giving up a baby for adoption is a selfless act that, even when it might represent a sacrifice, is a chance to help a couple make their parenting dreams come true.