An unplanned pregnancy can bring to the surface many emotions. But the sympathy, empathy and compassion tend to lay with the mother. Birth fathers are equal partners in the conception, birth and adoption process. But he too will have strong emotions that can make navigating adoption difficult. It is common for both birth mom and dad to have similar feelings around an unplanned pregnancy. Grief, sadness and denial are just three.
Oddly enough, embarrassment is a common sentiment expressed by birth fathers. Birth parents have a lot of expectations placed on them but for the father, the expectation to provide for and be a ‘good dad’ can weigh heavy on the mind of the birth father giving up his child for adoption. He isn’t meeting these expectations and he isn’t living up to his responsibilities as a birth father. Or so he thinks. But this is not the case. Adoption is not the ‘easy way out’. For many birth fathers, it is the hardest thing they will ever do.
As well as embarrassment, they will often fear how family members, friends and co-workers will look at them. They also struggle that they cannot provide for their child at this time like an adoptive family can.
Responsibility can be a heavy burden but a birth father needs to be clear that supporting adoption for their child is in no way irresponsible – in fact, it is the responsible option. It is not a decision made by a weak man or a birth father shunning his responsibilities as a father. It is the complete opposite of this and, as a birth father, you will have many questions about adoption. Even if you and the birth mother are no longer in a relationship, you can still be part of the adoption planning process. You and the birth mother will need to support each other. Even though your child being adopted is the right solution, it is the hardest decision to make.
The birth father is the biological father of the child who is or will be adopted. The role the birth father plays in a relationship with the birth mother can vary. For example, you may be in a stable relationship with the birth mother or you may no longer be together. It may also be a possibility that you are estranged from the birth mother for whatever reason or you may have been recently told that you are a father of a child being placed for adoption. Even though adoption is a positive process, it is only this if everyone is informed and aware of what is happening. All parties must be confident in the decisions that they are making. This applies to the birth father too.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy with a partner and would like to know more about adoption process in Texas, contact the Adoption Alliance on 1 (800) 626-4324. Alternatively, you can use the contact form to get in touch with us today.